When Leadership Strengths become Weaknesses - Part 2
Last month, I wrote an article on leaders whose “driver” traits—their boldness, directness, competitiveness, productivity-focus, and independence—show up in extremes or become overused.
Actually, I’ve worked with many of these leaders. They are the command-and-control, turn‘em-and-burn‘em, theory X leaders.
Leadership Skills Development Plan
In order to eliminate some of these “good” traits gone “bad”, we negotiate a Leadership Development plan that looks something like this:
1. Increase cooperation, participation and collaboration with others
2. Learn and practice tactful communication
3. Increase sensitivity to others
4. Help others succeed via servant leadership
5. Be more flexible, compromising, and accepting
6. Understand that you need people
7. Recognize the needs of others
8. Pace oneself and relax more
How can you do the same in your organization?
How can you encourage your managers, supervisors, and directors to be servant leaders who are masters of motivation and influence?
Lead by Example
To begin, model it in your own interactions.
The way in which you interact with your managers, supervisors, and directors will influence way in which they interact with their direct reports. These interactions, in turn, impact the way your front line employees treat your clients or customers. This parallel process refers to the tendency of things to “roll down the hill” so to speak.
If you think that this type of leadership is too passive, too “soft” or “touchy-feely”, don’t believe it for a minute. You’ll never improve your leadership if you continue to think that way. In order to become a servant leader, you must first address these negative, self-limiting thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, assumptions, and conclusions:
“I don’t know if I can really do this ‘Servant Leader’ stuff.”
Actually, most of the principles of servant leadership—are simple concepts that have been around for centuries.
“I don’t have the time to sit and listen to these people whine or complain!”
You may be short on time and it may, in fact, be very important to you that everyone is productive. However, it only takes a few brief moments to listen actively to your employees’ concerns. Model the same empathic listening that you want to see in your subordinates and you’ll see people following your lead down the organization.
“I’ve been doing this for 20 years and the only way these people change is if I confront them and ride them hard.”
This approach may have worked for you in the past, but it is not the best method to use long-term. It leads to dissent and breeds resentment.
Who Needs to Change?
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “Be the change you want to see.”
However, “being the change” I’m referring to here is often very difficult for these dominant, take-charge type leaders. Why? According to Scott Keller, co-author of Beyond Performance: How Great Organizations Build Ultimate Competitive Advantage, they don’t see themselves as part of the problem. Although they agree with the principle that leaders must model the desired changes, they don’t believe that they are the ones who need to change.
Most conscientious people with a strong work ethic believe they are doing the right thing.
Otherwise, they would not do it. Most of us have what Keller refers to as “self-serving bias” or blind optimism about our own behavior. Like the Clydesdale horses, we all wear “blinders”, making us think we are better than we actually are. That is why it’s so important for leaders to have a behind-the-scenes silent partner and advisor to inform them that “their fly is open”, “their slip is showing”, or they’re about to “slip on a banana peel”.
Ready for Change
A person must first be ready, willing, and able to make a change.
By ready, willing, and able, I mean that they want the change, are able to make the change, see the reasons for making the change, recognize the need to make the change, and are committed to making that change. In addition, completing a 360 feedback tool can help motivate the leader and build readiness to change.
So, how do I inform these high-ranking, well-accomplished, very intelligent leaders convinced that their personality contributed to their success and can’t possibly be part of the problem? First of all and most importantly, I ask permission to give the feedback.
For example, I say:
- “There’s something that worries me here.”
- “Would it be all right if I shared with you how this hurts your ability to… (state their goal)?”
- “Would you like to know what I noticed…?”
- “Do you want to know what I would do, if I were in your situation?”
- “I could tell you some things others have done that worked…”
- “Could I play devil’s advocate here…?”
- “Are you open to suggestions/solutions?”
- You mentioned you want … (state their goal). Would you like to know if there’s something that’s getting in the way…?”
Next, I preface any advice or suggestions with permission to disagree or disregard. For example:
- “This may or may not be important to you…”
- “I don’t know if this will make sense to you…”
- “You may not agree…”
- “I don’t know how you’ll feel about this…”
- “Tell me what you think of this…”
Pause and Listen
Next, I pause and listen.
Allowing the person to respond, soliciting that input, is critical to maintaining the leader’s dignity, credibility, and composure. It’s also about maintaining a spirit of self-determination, responsibility, autonomy, and control.
Lastly, I collaborate with the individual to come up with solutions. When choosing what to do, it’s always better to offer several options rather than suggesting only one.
I'd Like Your Feedback
Please comment below. Thanks!
Want more leadership inspiration? Download our ultimate eBook with our easy to use Motivational Checklist.
You might also like:
Communication Skills at a Higher Level
Tips for Communication with Skills with Groups
Harvard...SMART Goals and You
Life Goals: Plan It...Live It... Achieve It
Barbara is an author, speaker, leadership coach, and founder of LeadershipU, a unique "inside-out", assessment-driven, feedback-rich, women's leadership development program incorporating experiential activities and peer coaching. Other posts by Barbara »